a pictorial compendium of the shop owner being ridiculous.

Ready? 

Okay.  Then keep reading. 

Exhibit A: random Wal-Mart Photo Studio shoot:

That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight holding a stuffed monkey.

Exhibit A 1/2: 

6 years ago, same Wal Mart Photo Studio:

Exhibit B: Anyone can do planking. But can you fetus?

Exhibit C: There's a saying about trying to milk a concrete cow on the side of the road...

Wait, there isn't? Well, there should be. Because it doesn't work.

Exhibit D: I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING*

*ok, I'm afraid of stuff, and maybe was scared in this photo.

p.s. there's a Shopify employee in this photo...

Exhibits E, F, G and WTF: Don't ask me to make you anything. Because I will make you something.

And it will look like this stuff.

Exhibit ?: Check out this Super Cool (TM) couple.

Please note Wolverine Jedi.

And finally, this isnt me:

...but I kind of wish it was.